


'Til Tonight Do Us Part

by wankiero



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, M/M, Summer of Like, Warped Tour 2005, infinity on high, post summer of like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-13
Updated: 2013-08-13
Packaged: 2017-12-23 09:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/924837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wankiero/pseuds/wankiero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikey listens to Infinity On High for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Til Tonight Do Us Part

''Pete?'' Mikey asked as he ran a hand through Pete's damp hair that stuck to his forehead with the sweat that covered them both and filled the small room of the tour bus with a thick, musky scent.

''Mhhh?'' Pete hummed, too blissed out and dazed to even open his eyes fully to look at Mikey. Mikey chewed his lip and slid his hand down from Pete's hair to his hot chest idly, trying to think of how to word his next question. He knew a question like this would have Pete running, have Pete running so fast and so far away from Mikey that he was sure he'd never see him again. But it was a question Mikey needed to ask, he couldn't spend the next few days of the tour holding his breath and dancing around the subject, he needed to know the answer. ''Will..Will you stay with me after the tour?'' Mikey managed, his voice weaker than intended, low and quiet. Pete stilled under Mikey's hand and the question lingered in the air between them for a very long time, Pete's chest rising and falling evenly after a while, his eyes still closed. Mikey contemplated asking again, prompting and answer but he didn't, he just waited patiently.

When Pete answered it was a flat ''No Mikey.'' and that was that. That was the end of the discussion, just 'No Mikey', he should have kicked up a fuss, he should have tried to talk to Pete about it, persuade him maybe even plead. That is where Mikey is with the whole situation, he is at the point where he'd plead for Pete to say yes, for Pete to carry this on after the summer, plead for him to even acknowledge the fact him and Mikey will be seeing each other after the tours ended and they could be so much more. Whenever Mikey brought it up Pete would brush it off like it didn't matter, like Mikey didn't matter. But that was okay, because Pete was Pete and Mikey understood what he was getting himself into and knew him well enough to even try and reason with him, he knew it would only push Pete away sooner.

So, instead of pushing him away Mikey wrapped his arms around Petes chest and pulled him closer, holding him in his arms, face buried in his neck and hoped if he held Pete close enough maybe he wouldn't be able to leave.

Mikey had no such luck, the last day of tour came along and the bands were packing up their things and filling their stomachs and mini fridges ready for the ride home. Mikey didn't see Pete all day and Mikey didn't even look, couldn't bring himself to search for someone who didn't want to be found. He just went about his day, packed, ate, cleaned and then lay out on the sofa in the main room of the bus and ignored the way his arm felt, like it was heavy, like the words scrawled on his pale skin in lipstick were written with led. The words on his arm was the first thing Mikey saw in the morning and the last thing he had from Pete. ''Goodbye Mikeyway''.

Months later Mikey lay on his bed, laptop on his stomach and was scrolling through blogs, forums, social media, the usual boring shit when he came across something. Fall Out Boys new album. Mikey had been a huge fan of Fall Out Boy before Warped Tour and it hadn't changed after so Mikey was still excited for the new album, so excited that he managed to almost ignore the throbbing pain in his chest at the mention of Petes name. Mikey had managed to come away from the summer with Pete with more composure than he'd thought. He hadn't cried, he hadn't complained, he hadn't even spoken about it. Not once. So Mikey knew he could listen to an album by one of his favourite bands without personal attachments to the bassist of said band getting in the way.

Mikey downloaded the album illegally (he told himself it wasn't out of suppressed spite but Mikey wasn't that good at lying to himself.) and put his headphones in and relaxed. It was quite late and he was bored of the internet and just wanted to chill out. So, he put the laptop at the side of him, folded his arms behind his head, closed his eyes and listened.

It took Mikey only until the second song before his personal feelings for the song writer and bassist showed through ''Baby seasons change but people don't.'' Patrick sang and Mikey scoffed while thinking bitterly ''Evidently.''. Later on in the same song the lines ''We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces'' and ''We’re dropped and well concealed in secret place'' brought clear images to Mikeys mind of him and Pete fucking in the cramp space of the tour bunks in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep. Then Mikey spent the next song trying to get rid of the images, the feeling that somehow that song was aimed at him. By the fourth song Mikey had cleared his head and went back to listening to the lyrics, he didn't do a very good job of it because he was too busy getting caught up in the rhythm, so far this song was definitely his favourite, well, it was until the line ''The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact Is to realize two out of three ain’t bad'' was sung and Mikeys chest hurt. He put it together straight away, two wrists, one heart. Pete hadn't been hacking at his wrists, there would have been pictures and an internet uproar, so that meant Petes heart was broken, Mikey wanted to cry, but he didn't. They were just lyrics. Pete could have just through it sounded good, which it did. Mikey brushed that line off just like the others and listening to the next song, hoping to god it was happier.

Mikey had the worst fucking luck. The next song made Mikey want to rip his heart out through his chest, he was sure what the lyrics were doing to him had the same affect anyway. Mikey felt like with every song in the album, every line in the songs were ripping him appart and taking down every wall he'd built against the feelings he was holding back. ''And you are the dreamer and we are the dream'' Mikey still had the fucking shirt, Pete had made it on tour, it was messily done and ugly but Mikey kept it, the words ''I am the dream, you are the dreamer'' written over the chest. Mikey clung to the duvet and carried on listening, keeping himself together as best as he could. '“I love you in the same way there’s a chapel in the hospital. One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door. Sometimes we take chances. Sometimes we take pills'' Sang into his ears and Mikey wasn't sure if Pete had done this on purpose. He wasn't sure if Pete developed a sadistic quality and just hoped Mikey would listen to this album just so he'd feel like he was being repeatedly stomped on. That's what it felt like to Mikey right then and piece by piece the barrier he'd put up was crumbling.

Mikey spent the next twenty minutes or so just listening to the music, trying to remember why he even put this album on. They were his favourite band he wasn't supposed to be feeling like this as he listened. Yeah, sometimes you feel like a song was written for you but Mikey has never felt this pain before and he'd never been in the position where the song actually could be written about him, /for/ him. But the more Mikey thought about it, the more he realised if this was about him then it wasn't for him, it was for Pete. Maybe Pete was affected by the whole thing, maybe he wasn't as emotionless near the end as he'd come across. That thought made Mikey hurt ever more, that Pete was hurting too and they were both apart when they could be so happy together. Mikey was on the brink of tear already and then he heard the opening line ''I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm.''

That was is, Mikey couldn't keep it back any more, there was no fucking way that this song wasn't about him and that just broke what he had left of his composure and Mikey was crying into his pillow, earphones still in his ears and he listened as he sobbed. ''Racing through the city, windows down in the back of yellow chequered cars'' That line brought back the memory of getting into cabs with Pete whenever they got to a city they hadn't been to before and had some free time. Mikey and Pete would go off for the day, doing touristy shit the best they could with the lack of money and time they had. They'd spend most the day in the back of the cabs, calling at people in the street and laughing. Mikey smiled even though crying when he remembered the time they pulled over to a girl in a Fall Out Boy shirt and bag and Pete got out, stole one of her chips and said ''No one will ever believe you.'' before getting back in the cab and waving as they drove off. The smile only lasted a moment though before Mikey started listening to the lyrics again and heard ''The tombstones were waiting they were half engraved they knew it was over they just didn’t know the date'' in Petes voice and Mikey was crying again, harder and Mikey could practically hear his chest rattling with the sobs that were escaping his throat.

Mikey couldn't listen to the rest of the album. He shut his laptop and threw his earphones aside and lay in his bed, face in his pillow and sobbed until his body couldn't do it any more and he passed out from emotional and physical exhaustion.

Three days passed and Mikey hadn't moved out of bed apart from to pee and get a piece of toast and a bottle of water. He didn't even want to do that but he didn't really want his brother finding him dead with the Infinity On High album open on his laptop. But after three days Mikey had managed to build his wall back up, he got out all his crying, all his frustration and hurt and he was okay again. He went straight back to not talking about Pete, complaining about Pete or even talking about Fall Out Boy. The guys in the band didn't even notice anything had happened and Mikey was really great full.

Mikey was okay again for another 6 months before he was sat in the dentist and was idly flicking through one of the magazines on the table and saw the head line ''Pete Wentz's New Wife Pregnant'' splashed across the page with quotes from Pete and..Ashley Simpson? Mikey laughed in disbelief, amused for a split second before it hit him, Petes married and his wife is pregnant. Mikey swallowed another dry laugh and calmly put the magazine back down, told the lady politely at the desk that he'd be needing to reschedule and went home. It took Mikey a little longer than three days to get over that one.


End file.
